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I lived on a farm. people like farms. animals live there. one of our animals was a chicken. i have a friend (he is my friend becuase i have a farm). my friend said to me 'i can hypnotize your chicken'. i did not believe my friend for i thought he was trying to be cool becuase i have a farm. so i said 'you cannot hypnotize my chicken.' but my friend was insisting that the chicken could be hypnotized, so i formulated a cunning plan. i said to my friend "my friend, hypnotize my chicken." i figured that if i told my friend to hypnotize my chicken i would learn that my friend could not actually hypnotize any chickens but was trying to be cool for me becuase i have a farm (people like farms). so my friend says "i need a stick" and i said to my friend "please do not kill my chicken" and my friend said "i need a stick" so i got my friend a stick. there was a stick around because there are sticks on farms and i lived on a farm with sticks. my friend picked up the chicken in one hand and in the other he picked up the stick from my farm. i was worried for my chicken, and for what my friend would do to my chicken. my friend lay the chicken on the chickens back, on some concrete (we had concrete becuase i have a farm, and there is a concrete bit on my farm) and my friend held the chicken to the ground by pushing gently on the chicken's breastbone. he assured me it didnt hurt my chicken, my friend said, "it does not hurt the chicken." (i did not want to hurt the chicken becuase i live on a farm and chickens are good on farms, they are animals and people like animals and animals live on farms so people like farms. if i had no chicken, people would not like my farm.) my friend then picked up the stick (it was a short stick [we had a short stick becuase we had a farm and there are lots of sticks on a farm, short ones and not quite so short sticks too]) and my friend held one end of the short stick and put the other end on the ground behind and to the right of the head of my chicken. and then my friend carefully moved the chicken's head so it could see the stick (it was a short stick). my friend then slowly moved the stick away from the head of the chicken, very slowly. and he told me to watch, my friend said to me "watch" (he wanted me to watch so that i could see and understand he didnt want me to see this becuase i had a farm but becuase it was interesting) and i did watch and my friend continued to move the stick, and the chicken kept on watching the stick. (it was easy to watch becuase it was a short stick and a small chicken [we had a small chicken becuase i have a farm and there are more than one chickens there and one was small]) and eventually, after much stick-moving and watching, the chicken's head was almost completely upside down and backwards. i said to my friend "look, the chicken's had is almost completely upside down and backwards" and he said "yes". at that point he removed the stick to another location that i was not aware of (later my friend informed me that he threw it away and that the location of the stick he threw was not important to the hypnotization of the chicken) then he carefully removed his hand from the belly of the chicken. and did the chicken jump up and run away? and did the chicken make loud chicken noises (that chicken usually made noises becuase it is a farm-chicken on my farm). NO! the chicken did not run and the chicken did not make farm-chicken noises becuase the chicken was hypnotized. it lay on its back for a full minute before the chicken started moving its foot, and then it got up and then the chicken carried on as normal, making chicken noises and doing chicken things (i could tell they were chicken things becuase i lived on a farm and i knew what chickens do). and i and my friend tried to hypnotize more chickens in the same manner and it is true, the chickens all became hypnotized for a minute or more. completely motionless, my chickens became. i wonder if i had said to my hypnotized chickens "walk around like people and make people noises" if the chickens had done so and walked around and made people noises. i think if they had made people noises they would be embarrased because in my experience on my farm, chickens are embarrased when they accidentally make people noises. so that is my story, of how to hypnotize chickens and there is not one word of lie in my story. and my friend is still alive and he doesnt hurt chickens, to this day.
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